gifts

The sentence “ I love you” is a gift and should be taken as one. I strongly believe that no responsibility should be attached. There is a place somewhere inside you which you decide to make as a gift. This is what happens. “I love you”. Keep my “I love you” for you. I have an “I love you” for you. I guess my “I love you” will fit nice your interior. Here’s my “I love you”, but sorry I’ve forgotten to pack it. Take it bare.  A sincere gift given prudently. But it’s up to you what you do with this gift as a receiver.

You could put it in a vacuum bank on a mind shelf. You could open it sometimes and feel the scent. Aromatherapy. It smells of linden.

You

[...]No, I don’t want to make love to you. I just want you. You.

 

You.

 

So much enclosed in just 3 letters. Vowels. All open. All free. Just a sound. Like the soaring of bird. Like an invitation for a kiss. Lips moving easily, hiding the essence of every specific “you”. One can tell by the shiver of the mouth in this surreal stir, what “you” actually represents. Not a word, a dedication. It includes all the feelings, all the thoughts, all the associations concerning each particular “you”. It supposes a call, implication, nearness, invocation, desire. “You” is already a tie between two. One tells, another one is being told. One names, another one is being named. One invokes, another one is being invoked. One wants, another one is being wanted.

You are my “you”. You are. You.

Dor

[...]One of the most beautiful words in the romanian language is “dor”, which means “missing”. Each letter is  pronounced convincingly, evoking its every virginal sound. Short, but forceful. And resounding. Dodecaphonic. ["I miss you" = "Mi-e dor"].Upright, as it begins and ends in a strong consonant. As it begins and ends almost immediately. No breath is needed. A word out of life. The vowel “o” has always associated with a window, in my mind. “Dor” is a window out. Out of any emotion and action. Out of any comprehension and rationalization. Just a link. Belonging to nothing. Uniting everything. Containing all. Just as the window encloses the whole landscape which is out of it, embodying its emphatic transfiguration inside, but is neither the building, nor the scenery.

And what a slight boundary between “dor” and “dar”. “Dar” means “gift”. The unconditioned, sincere, soul’s gift. “Dar” suggests values and feelings, rather than materiality. It is the genuine offering of a long-lasting place in one’s core. But “dar” is also a conjunction. “Dar” means “but”.

Connection. Integrity. Whole. Honesty. Dedication. Involvement. Oscillation. Isn’t that all “dor”?

Fintina

 

Sangereaza cristalin
O noua viata incolora
din inima pamantului.

I am

I want to give you love as a gift. But I’m not the person. I never was. I’ll never be. I don’t pretend. I’m the Intention. I’m the Feel Good. I’m the No Regrets. I’m the Don’t Think. I’m the Sorry I’ve Gone Too Far. I’m the It’s OK. I’m the Do What You Want. I’m the No Consequence. I’m the No Responsibility. I’m the Don’t fucking Worry.

I’m the Else. I’m the No Me. I’m for you. I’m in you. I’m yours. I’m a Secret.

Because I’m Your Freedom.

Dimineata

Eu suflu visul

 

De pe negrul inceput de zi

 

din ceasca-mi.

Postum (lui Grigore Vieru)

E panică în țară, în suflete,

în cărți.

E mare liniștea

Și am căzut.

Caut glasul. Caut cântarea.

Dar a tăcut.

Mă tem să nu mai știu

Cine mă naște, de unde viu

și în ce limbă scriu.

Caut glasul. Dar se năzare uitarea -

Că tace cântarea.

 

Dar bate o inimă

dintr-un sicriu.

Primavara

Intra pe fereastra

miros de galbenus senin.

Si mi se face foame

de viata.

Avint

Incep modest si usurel, dar entuziasmata.

Incep din nimic, pentru nimic.

Si asta imi place.

Incep.